Yellow Porsches Make Good Bribes
by Merina 2
Summary: Edward bribes Alice with a canary yellow porsche in exchange for her protecting Bella whilst he hunts. CURRENTLY BEING DRASTICALLY RE-EDITED.


**_Written whilst desperatly trying to get past writer's block XP because of this, hopefully peeps will understand if this seems a bit forced and mechanical. But my Mum liked it - so here you go :D_**

**Italics = Alice's thoughts (it's Edward's pov)**

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_Yellow Porsches Make Good Bribes_

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"Alice?"

Alice, who'd been dashing round the room with her arms full of fashion magazines she'd spent the afternoon strewing all over various tables and patches of floor, paused, and turned to grin at me.

"Yup?"

_Hope he's quick, I need these tidied up before the others get home…_

"I need to ask you something."

Alice shuffled the magazines cascading out of her tiny grip, trying to get a better hold on them.

_Argh, I need Jasper…can't manage these all by myself…!_

"Can it wait, Edward? I'm kind of busy…"  
She hopped on one leg, attempting to balance half the pile on her knee. I chuckled in amusement and moved forward towards her.

"Here, let me…"  
I took a stack of magazines from her hands and she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thanks! Come on, follow me - I need them upstairs…"  
She skipped towards the stairs, the magazines clutched tightly to her chest.

_Maybe I could get him to help with the others as well…it'd be much faster with the two of us…_

I rolled my eyes and followed her up the staircase to her and Jasper's bedroom.

_So unfair he's going with the boys tomorrow, we could have had such a fantastic time together, all day, all alone…_

I cringed at her wistful imaginings, _not _wanting to see what she and Jasper would have been up to together had he decided to stay behind from our hunt. I tried hard to block out her thoughts. She turned round and grinned cheekily at me over her shoulder – of course, she knew exactly what I was uncomfortable about.

"You know what they say about eaves droppers…_mind_ droppers…" she said, pulling open the drawer to her wardrobe – in other words, _fashion warehouse_. Every shelf and drawer overflowed with clothes and accessories. She heaved the pile of glossy covered magazines and catalogues up into the drawer, and placed them neatly in the exact centre of the wooden casement. Then she took the rest of them from my waiting arms, and ever so carefully patted them into place on the perfectly rectangular pile. She sighed wistfully at the covers, stroking them tenderly with a one finger for a second, and then carefully pushed the drawer closed.

_So pretty…I've _got_ to talk to Bella, she coped with the prom last year, after all……I'm _sure_ I could persuade her…eventually…_

I rolled my eyes again. "Alice…"

"I know, I know!" she sang, skipping towards the bedroom door again. "She'll never agree, but all the same, I can _try_…"

We made our way down the stairs again, Alice chattering on about all the new prom dresses she had in mind for Bella. She turned to me as we entered the living room again.

"So. What was it you wanted to ask me?"

I took a deep breath, going over what I'd been rehearsing all afternoon, wondering for the millionth time if this was a good idea or not.

"Come on Edward, make your mind up, you're making my head ache," Alice complained, her eyes sliding in and out of focus as she tried to foresee what I would as her. She sat down on the sofa and patted the spot beside her. I sighed and moved towards the sofa to sit next to her.

"It's about Bella."  
"_Oh_," she said, comprehension dawning on her face. "Right."

She nodded, almost to herself. "You're worried she'll sneak off to see the dog whilst you're away with the boys."

I cringed at her mental images of the mutt from two months back, that dog's hands stroking Bella's face, her hair, her arm just after she'd fainted…

"Please, Alice. Without the mental images."

She rolled her eyes. "Edward, really, if you'd just _talk _to Bella …"  
"And what if I do? Even if she agrees – _promises_ – what will happen if he comes for her?"  
Alice bit her lip, folding her arms, and then scanned the future quickly.

_Bella and Jacob, walking along La Push beach, hand in hand…Bella, sitting at home…Bella laughing with Jacob…Bella doing homework…Bella on the phone…Bella with Jacob…_

"It's certainly a…possibility…" Alice said, evasively.

"A possibility I will_ not_ allow," I said, a dark edge creeping into my voice after watching the awful visions. Hand in hand, strolling along that beach…what would happen if he lost control and phased _right _then and there, his hand around hers…?

_He's really worried…well, I suppose he's got good reason…stupid dog…_  
Alice was sighing and beginning to fidget. I could see she wanted to get back to her magazines.

"Well, how do you plan to stop her, then?"

I hesitated - and finally made my decision.

"I need your help, Alice."

Her face lit up in interest. "How?"  
She was deliberately restraining from the visions flooding her mind to hear me out. I smiled slightly, and chose my words carefully.

"I had a…plan, you see, Alice, involving you. _I_ can't stop Bella visiting that dog – but _you _can."

Alice's mouth went into a perfect "oh", as realisation dawned.

"You can invite her over for a sleepover – a _sleepover_, Alice, a _real_…um…_fabulous_ girly sleepover – while I'm away with Jasper and the others. Take her to and from school, keep her indoors, entertain her – she'll be happy and protected and _safe_ with you…"  
_No way, Edward._

Alice folded her little arms and scowled at me like a disapproving mother.

_You haven't seen what I have. This Jacob Black and her…they're much closer than you think. She really loves him, Edward…_

I snarled.

"Not like _that_," she said quickly, speaking out loud to make me listen. "But like…like a brother. He's more than just a best friend, Edward. I'm telling you, she'll kill me if I won't let her see him…"  
"She'll get used to it."  
Alice's eyes widened.

"_Used_ to it? You want me to do this _every time_ you lot are out hunting? No way, Edward she'll be furious -!"

"Alice, please," I pleaded, leaning forward on the sofa. "You're her closest friend, she's told me, you're like a sister to her and she's needs protection…"  
"Not by _kidnapping_ and shutting her up in our house, Edward."

"Even if it means a sleepover for you two every month…?"  
Alice wavered, biting her lip.

_Ugh, so unfair…all the things we could do together, manicures and stay up late and everything, just like I always wanted to…but she'll kill me…_

She shook her head resolutely.

"Nope. Not even for that. It's not fair to her, Edward, not fair at all. I won't do it. You'll have to find some other way."  
She jutted her chin up, waiting for my reaction, her thoughts defiant whilst her mind searched the future, trying to see what I was going to propose next.

I sighed deeply. It was a pity I was going to have to resort to this.

I leant forward, and took her hands in mine.

"Alice," I said, choosing my words carefully. "If…if you keep Bella safe, take her too and from school, feed her, and never let her out of your _sight_ when I am away this week and every time in the future…I will buy you a Yellow Porsche 911 Turbo."

Alice's mouth dropped. She stared at me in stunned amazement for a second – and then her eyes narrowed.

"That…thatis _evil,_ Edward…"  
"I know." I grinned. "But I don't see any other way to make you do what I want."

Alice chewed her lip agitatedly, looking devastated.

"Just like the one in Italy?"  
"The exact same."

She leant forward, a heartbreakingly longing expression on her little face – like a child that's just been offered all the chocolate in the world.  
"_Bright_ yellow?"

"The perfect shade."

She moaned and sank back on the couch.  
"_Edward_…"

"It's your choice," I said, grinning deviously. "I'm not forcing you into anything…"  
"Evil evil evil evil evil!" she growled, slapping the arm of the chair with every word. Her mind was a flurry of torn decisions and visions of her beloved Porsche I knew she'd been longing for ever since our visit to Italy.

"She'll kill me, Edward…!"  
"But you'll have your Porsche."  
"I _can't_…"  
"You can. Just say the word, and it's yours, Alice. We can go out and get one right now…"  
She groaned, burying her face in her hands.

"Evil evil evil…" she growled again. I waited, whilst she scanned the future looking for a way out, another option…but of course, there was none. I'd made sure of that.

Minutes passed, while I watched her struggling and fighting with herself and what she wanted…

Finally, after almost ten minutes, she drew back and glowered at me.

"Fine. I'll do it."

I pulled her towards me and hugged her tightly. "Thanks, Alice!"  
"_Evil_," she growled in my ear, hugging me half-heartedly back. Then she pushed me away.

"And now we go and get my Porsche? Right now?"  
"Right now," I grinned, standing up. She squealed in delight and jumped up too, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the door, with me staggering along behind her.

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_Yellow Porsches Make Good Bribes. They really do._

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**Again, let me remind you this was originally an exersise to get past terrible writer's block. My Mum was very nice about it, so even though it's rather mechanical and forced, I thought I'd post it :D I'm not to sure about the ending, but my editor liked it, so there you go. Excuses excuses...but I ASSURE you I'm being truthful about the writer's block XP**

**NewMoonFromAlice'sPOV WILL be updated soon - PLEASE REVIEW!!!**


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